The only person that can count on to make yourself happy is well, yourself. Feeling disengaged, unmotivated, isolated and unhappy can be fixed by practicing some self-awareness. If you're unsure of how to begin, try going with some of these tips for starters:
- Keep tabs on yourself
Negative thought patterns influence how you feel, and can impact how you behave. If you catch yourself forming a habit of negative self-talk, stopping yourself can prevent a spiral into depression. As such, forming an awareness about your triggers are imperative. It could be a form of treatment that you have been receiving from someone from your inner social circle or an action from loved ones. If for example, a specific type of content on social media is the cause (which is quite common), remember to ask yourself if what you are reacting to is genuine or simply a misrepresentation or information.
- Imagine someone else in your shoes
Often times, we treat ourselves worse than how we would treat someone else. Try speaking in the third person to yourself. When you do that, the pretense of talking to someone else may result in the reduction of harsh language. This form of self-compassion can take some getting used to, but can be very therapeutic.
- Name the negativity
Another approach to consider is the use of distancing techniques as a means of calming your negative instincts. Try giving your negative thoughts a name to create a space between the message that you are communicating and yourself. Tell that named thought to go away, and banish it from your world.
- Skip absolute words
The use of absolutes such as “never” and “always” should be limited. Most things in life are in a constant state of flux and are not always set in stone. You are not “always going to fail”, and neither are you “never going to find love”. Your efforts will not “always be in vain”. Negative usage of such absolutes can leave feeling disenfranchised and despondent.
- Shun away from “should”
Try avoiding the word “should” as well, given that it may be subconsciously pushing you towards feelings of shame or guilt. Instead of feeling dejected and telling yourself that you “should start exercising more”, be firm and assure yourself that you “can work out”, and that you “will attend a fitness class within the week”.
Getting into the right frame of mind can make the difference when it comes to living the kind of life that does right by you. If you can visualise yourself putting these tips into practice, then the only thing left for you to do is to turn those thoughts into reality. The first step towards looking out for yourself starts with looking inwards!