Being sans child and guilt-free

Being sans child and guilt-free

by Rachel Foo 20 Sep 2018

My partner and I have had this discussion before; do we need children in our lives? Keyword here being “need”, not “want”. Friends and family would tell us that having a child would change our lives and make it whole. Some would even ask us to look at having children as a “retirement plan” as they will take care of us when we are old (which we feel it’s the wrong reason to have a child, by the way).


While we are still on the fence about having children, there are some individuals or couples who have long decided against having children. If you happen to be one of them and find yourself having to constantly defend your decision against outspoken family and friends, here are some extremely logical reasons that you can use to hopefully keep them at bay.


Being child-less gives you the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Want to catch a late-night movie? Let’s go! Planning to backpack across Europe? Just take leave from work and leave your worries behind. Got a sudden interest in building mini robots? Well, you do not have to worry about leaving small electronic parts around the house. Want to sleep in? Go right on ahead. You don’t have to worry about little tummies grumbling away!


As the cost of living rises, so does the cost of having children. According to TODAYonline, the cost of raising a child in Singapore starts from around $360,000. This is the estimated cost at the middle range. If you are planning to put the child through university, well, you can do the math. You are better off setting aside or investing that money for your retirement. After all who’s to guarantee that your children will take care of you when they are older?


Travelling hassle
Travelling may already be a stressful experience for some, but imagine travelling with kids in tow. Not only must you pack for more, you might not be able to fully enjoy your flight. My partner and I have experienced taking care of my 2-year old niece on an 11-hour flight before. It was fun as a one-time experience, but when she woke up from a nightmare and started screaming, things got extremely stressful real quick.


Ladies, let’s talk stretch marks and C-section scars and all the other bodily stresses pregnancy puts you through. Sure, some may see it as a beautiful testament to their sacrifice and love – and it is! However, if it’s not your thing, and you like your body the way it is, then that’s your prerogative as well. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently or try to guilt you into thinking otherwise!


Environmental costs
With the ongoing climate change and plastic waste, people are actually looking to colonising Mars, a currently extremely inhospitable planet to live on, instead of working on fixing Earth. Having offspring will without a doubt at to the carbon impact on our environment. In fact, many have cited environmental responsibility as one of their main reasons for choosing to stay child-free.


Having a complete family does not necessarily equate to having children for some. Many couples prefer living their lives just as a couple, while others end up going with pets/”fur kids”. Whatever your decision is, know that this is your life and you get to choose to live it however you wish. There is no right or wrong in this regard and you should never have to feel guilty for not having children.