Confidence that stands when others fall

Confidence that stands when others fall

by Vanessa Ng 27 Feb 2020

Confidence needs to be imbued in us, honed, and built with time. It not only helps us feel comfortable in our own skin, but also ensures that our efforts are steered in the right direction. Without confidence, you may end up pursuing a goal that you do not want in the first place, just to fit in. However, possessing a sense of confidence that’s empty is just about as bad as not having one, maybe even worse!


Understand what you want 

Ask yourself about your purpose, and if that purpose is genuinely something that you want to work towards. In today’s hyper-connected society, many of us find ourselves curating an online persona that’s often at times an amalgamation of several others. In the search of recognition through likes, our true selves may end up being shelved away, buried behind all the photoshopped photos and filtered images. 


Know your self-worth

Having a high self-esteem prevents dependency and neediness of someone else’s opinion. However, it is important to know that it can lead to people developing delusions and narcissistic tendencies. In particular, having too much pride and an inflated sense of self-importance, especially early in life, may hinder teamwork. It may also prevent people from seeking constructive criticism, and even trigger insistent victimhood in times of failure. 


Become self-aware

Instead of having delusions of grandeur or measuring your worth through dramatised interpretations of external happenings, there is a need to judge a situation objectively. Being self-aware is one way to do that. Being conscious of your emotions and not letting it override your brain is important in achieving self-awareness. Do a personal SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis as honestly as you can with a growth mindset.


Weed out superficiality

Shameless self-promotion, or the painting of a seemingly perfect yet false image will not build confidence. Such unhealthy habits will only undermine your efforts to develop yourself as a person. The focus should be on gaining genuine competence through hard work, staying true to yourself, and forging real connections.


Come to terms with the mark that you want to leave behind in this world, seek to improve yourself, and exhibit humility as much as you can. As the saying goes, “walk softly but carry a big stick”. The best kinds of confidence are often the quiet ones, but don’t be afraid to unleash it when the situation calls for it!